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General Chat Thread, Unseen office monsters in General; We have a ghost that poos pencils. You can see his droppings all along the corridors....
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    We have a ghost that poos pencils. You can see his droppings all along the corridors.

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    Jamman960's Avatar
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    We seem to have a Theatre monster who steals/borrows cables/other bits - we have spares of almost everything in there but they always seem to dissapear when they're actually needed!

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    I have a monster who likes to eat keyboard keys, expertly ripping them off the laptop and gobbling them up. Though we have a flash drive fairy that kindly leaves flash drives plugged into PCs at the end of every lesson...

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    We have the photocopier phantasm. It seems that in between someone printing something and the next person coming along the previously full paper trays are suddenly empty and it is most definitely not the case that the previous folk haven't bothered to put in paper after doing a large print run!

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    Mug monster: 30 new cups bought for staffroom, one week later they're nowhere to be found.

    Key monster: Last person to use hall AV equipment swears blind they returned the keys to the main office. They miraculously reappear later that day at a time when the office is unattended or are found next to the AV equipment by the dance teacher when she goes to set up for her lesson.

    On / off monster: The power socket on the wall was definitely on when they checked (after i'd asked) but now I have walked the length of the school the socket is off. Switching it on makes the equipment work.

    Amplifier monster: The amplifier was definitely set to AUX when they checked (after i'd asked) but now I have walked the length of the school it is set to DVD. Switching it to AUX makes the sound from the computer come through the speakers.



    At the last company I worked for one of the ladies used to send an email around all the other female members of staff wanting to know who the "Phantom sh**er" was. Apparently this monster used to leave logs that a Canadian lumberjack would be envious of and then not bother to flush the toilet!

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    I've got a "Dell Laptop Charger Eating Monster" here, every term I buy a few as spares. I never hand them out, but they seem to dissapear anyway......

    And he partners up with the "Un-Catchable Cable Stripper" who pulls the rubber casing off the laptop charger wires so the Eater can gets to the tasty coloured wires underneath. NOM!

    We've also got a "Teaspoon Poltergiest" who keeps moving all of the teaspoons into this one teachers' classroom along with a pile of mugs too.

    Oh and of course, the "Phantom of the Opera (or Firefox, or Safari...)"* who goes around trying to install web-browers other than Internet Explorer on staff laptops, and leaving them at the "enter administrator details" UAC window.


    *see what I did there?
    Last edited by Pete10141748; 29th March 2012 at 03:27 PM.

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    bondbill2k2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pete10141748 View Post
    *see what I did there?
    I did, I did... *begins very slow clapping*

  8. #23
    Pete10141748's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bondbill2k2 View Post
    I did, I did... *begins very slow clapping*
    A-thankyou

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    elsiegee40's Avatar
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    The staff room mug monster is a regular nuisance. It keeps moving mugs to other buildings

    Then there's the blu-tac eating monster who nibbles away at all the displays until everything falls down. That one followed me from my last school.

  10. #25

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    In a previous job (not a school) we had a toilet monster that liked to smear excrement all over the walls of the cubicles. On one famous occasion he even made a "Stonehenge"-type arrangement on a toilet seat, much to the fury of the office manager, who had to arrange the cleaning up. We never knew for certain who it was, though it did stop when a certain member of staff left for pastures new...

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    synaesthesia's Avatar
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    Just ! - what else can you say about a poohenge! @SpuffMonkey

    Our's is just the pentergeist, steals all pens from our office never to be seen again (until we tidy up...)

    We too are currently having a spate of the flash drive fairy leaving drives in computers.

    Sorry, come back to add a bad pun. Shame you couldn't catch him brown handed!


    Last edited by synaesthesia; 29th March 2012 at 07:32 PM.

  12. #27
    rad
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    So the Mug Monster and Spoon Monster exhist in other locations.
    The Toilet Monster who cant flush the thing, the one who stuffs bog roll down in or the one who leaves the tap running.

    To Top it, we have a Milk Monster, this one spills milk everywhere and doesnt clear it up. Weeks later the stench is disgusting.

    I also think their is a Photocopier Monster somewhere, its always broken or needs seeing to when I want to use it!

  13. #28

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    The cat 5 monster. He or she unplugs the network cables, sometimes fully but mostly so they still look like they are connected to the socket, but they aren't quite making contact.

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    These monsters seem to appearing in most places, we have had (some would say) random occurrences of all of these, the Mug monster and cable eating monster being ones to name a few!

    We have had a new one recently (remarkably after we have fit a load of new machines in classrooms), the Email Fairy! s/he can send emails as someone else even when the someone else swears blind they have logged out of the machine.


    I think a children's picture book deal is in order for all of these - although poohenge may just push it over the limit

  15. #30

    X-13's Avatar
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    We have pretty much all of the monsters you mentioned.


    Plus aliens and dragons.



    Plus, we have the elusive audio cable snapper. Who likes to break the pin of AV cables in the wall, and also likes to gently rest the broken cable on the connector. [thus making it look fine and not broken.]

    Then, there's your standard network gremlin. I think it likes to stand on the CAT5[e] to restrict the flow. [This is how networks work, yes?]

    Plus we have the BMP bandit. Who, every morning, runs round the school breaking our login screens. [So they look like a mass of grey horribleness.]


    On the subject of faries... We have the logon fairy. Which is more akin to a troll than an actual fairy. It goes into the ICT Suite and logs pupils onto the computer during break, then locks the screen so nobody can use the computer without either [a] Finding me or [b] turning it off at the plug, then rebooting.
    Last edited by X-13; 30th March 2012 at 08:38 AM.

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