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General Chat Thread, IT Request of the week in General; Does this count: Knock, knock! Come in... Sir, can you open this?? What, a drink bottle?? Yes, Seriously?? Uh-ha Hmmmmmkay ...
  1. #166
    IT_Ninja's Avatar
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    Does this count:

    Knock, knock!
    Come in...
    Sir, can you open this??
    What, a drink bottle??
    Yes,
    Seriously??
    Uh-ha
    Hmmmmmkay

    I'm just too nice, shame my Katana wasn't to hand :P

  2. Thanks to IT_Ninja from:

    Bananas (18th June 2014)

  3. #167
    gtg93's Avatar
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    Student: "Is there anyone in here who's good at computers?"
    Me: "Well I guess I'm not too bad, why?"
    Student: "Can you come and make my screen less bigger?"

    Oooh, the grammar - it hurts!

  4. Thanks to gtg93 from:

    Bananas (18th June 2014)

  5. #168

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    IT Request of the week

    An old one from a good few years ago (about 2004)

    Heard an old IT teacher tell his students that our internet connection was 10 modems connected into a hub! - it was an ISDN link.

    Most recent one, user ringing up quite anxious.

    Hi can I log an urgent fault with the clock in my office, the time is stuck, I would normally log it via the helpdesk but I need the clock.

    'Need to contact the premises team'

    Reply from user , oh thought because it was wireless I though you needed to fix it

    'nope it's a Radio Controlled, suspect the batteries will just need replacing also you are aware your desk phone and computer also show the time?

    ...... Oh yeah sorry about that
    Last edited by jszkudlapski; 18th June 2014 at 07:51 PM.

  6. #169

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    Can you buy this for us? Our budget isn't big enough.

    /facepalm

  7. #170

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    Student: I forgot my password, please can I have a new one?
    Me: Sure...*tap tap tap*...done.
    Student: What's my new password?
    Me: dontforget

    :-D
    Last edited by jonspurs; 3rd July 2014 at 04:40 PM.

  8. #171

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    Teacher - I teach in another school as well and I use these Boardworks resources there, can we have them on the network here too?
    Me - No, we are not licensed for those ones.
    Teacher - Can we just copy them instead?
    Me - No, we are not licensed for those ones.
    Teacher - Oh
    Last edited by Danp; 4th July 2014 at 09:37 AM.

  9. #172
    fairm010's Avatar
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    Teacher: Helllllloooooooo,

    It has been so long since I pestered you. Outlook is working on the library laptop and every other computer I use excepppppptttt, Room 3.

    It just doesn't log on.

    fanking ewe kindly

    Me: This is an odd one as Room 1 had the same problem yesterday. You can access your emails via Outlook Web Access through the schools website.I'll look into this asap.

    Teacher: You are investigating.... Do you have a magnifying glass and a pipe, that's how Sherlock would have investigated it.

    Me: Yes, I tend to dress up to investigate these things. I do get some odd looks.

    Teacher: Not quite Mr Cumberbatch, that's the problem...he could get away with anything. He could also solve the Outlook Mystery with a brandy, sitting on the sofa, explorin his mind palace.

  10. #173

    creese's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fairm010 View Post
    Teacher: Helllllloooooooo,

    It has been so long since I pestered you. Outlook is working on the library laptop and every other computer I use excepppppptttt, Room 3.

    It just doesn't log on.

    fanking ewe kindly

    Me: This is an odd one as Room 1 had the same problem yesterday. You can access your emails via Outlook Web Access through the schools website.I'll look into this asap.

    Teacher: You are investigating.... Do you have a magnifying glass and a pipe, that's how Sherlock would have investigated it.

    Me: Yes, I tend to dress up to investigate these things. I do get some odd looks.

    Teacher: Not quite Mr Cumberbatch, that's the problem...he could get away with anything. He could also solve the Outlook Mystery with a brandy, sitting on the sofa, explorin his mind palace.
    A bit more Conan Doyle and a bit less BBC perhaps. Would she advocate the use of Cocaine to help fix the printer?
    Last edited by creese; 9th July 2014 at 10:48 AM.

  11. #174
    fairm010's Avatar
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    Haha, its not the printer at fault, outlook will not connect to O365 only in one building though.

  12. #175

    creese's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fairm010 View Post
    Haha, its not the printer at fault, outlook will not connect to O365 only in one building though.
    Sorry, distracted by someone with a printer problem. I did read Outlook.

  13. #176

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    This morning the phone rang asking how to switch on the projector in the lecture theatre.

    Me: "On the wall, is a panel with blue lights."
    Her: "Where on the wall?"
    Me: "Just above the brown cabinet, the one with computer in."
    Her: "I'm not sure..."

    So I trundles across to the main building and descend into the bowels to the lecture theatre and points out the panel to her. "Oh, I did wonder if that was the one" (It's labeled projector control ) I was trying to think of a suitable reply without resorting to , when she said "I'm really sorry, but at least you won't have to put up with me after next week." Apparently she has a new job. Santa came early this year!

  14. #177
    hardtailstar's Avatar
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    Can you find the stopwatch charging tray and then replace the batteries?

    errrr no.

  15. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by creese View Post
    Sorry, distracted by someone with a printer problem. I did read Outlook.
    There's always a printer problem . . .

  16. #179


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    Quote Originally Posted by creese View Post
    A bit more Conan Doyle and a bit less BBC perhaps. Would she advocate the use of Cocaine to help fix the printer?
    administering it to the user would at least make the problem go away probably

    note im not condoning druging teachers to get rid of them no matter how tempting it may be with some at times

  17. Thanks to sted from:

    creese (9th July 2014)

  18. #180

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    Telephone Call

    Caller: Can you go over the the theatre there's an issue
    ME: If you let me know what the issue is, we can go over with any tools or replacements we may need
    Caller: I dont know what the issue is
    Me: Can you find out
    Caller: no


    Issue once we'd trekked over there: Wireless turned off with switch on the laptop

  19. Thanks to StephenHardy from:

    southhamster (9th July 2014)

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