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General Chat Thread, Technical explanations in General; Q. Why is the system/network running slowly today? A. Cos some kid stuck a lead between 2 points and caused ...
  1. #16

    mac_shinobi's Avatar
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    Re: Technical explanations

    Q. Why is the system/network running slowly today?

    A. Cos some kid stuck a lead between 2 points and caused a broadcast storm to happen !!

  2. #17

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    Re: Technical explanations

    Quote Originally Posted by gecko
    Q. Why is the system/network running slowly today?

    A. Cos some kid stuck a lead between 2 points and caused a broadcast storm to happen !!
    Wouldnt work for me, damn you STP lol

  3. #18

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    Re: Technical explanations

    Quote Originally Posted by ajbritton
    Yep, I'm also a fan of the 'problem exists between keyboard and chair' or PEBKAC excuse.
    Used to be PICNIC in my day - "problem in chair not in computer"

  4. #19

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    Re: Technical explanations

    Why is the network running slow today?

    Its not - its a new energy conservation programme i have installed - same results but just takes a bit longer - oh and we got it from RM with ELCs

  5. #20

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    Re: Technical explanations

    If you have time to look up a website, you could use the tech excuse generator here for a truly BOFH response:
    http://www.strauss.za.com/sla/support.html

    Not that I've ever actually tried it with users ..... :twisted:

  6. #21

    beeswax's Avatar
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    Re: Technical explanations

    Quote Originally Posted by Furan
    Why is the network running slow today?
    are you standing on the cable?

    beeswax

  7. #22

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    Re: Technical explanations

    Just looked at the site, and it said I had a:

    "Asynchronous, illegal parameter halt"

    What is that, and how do I get rid of it????

    Paul

  8. #23
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    Re: Technical explanations

    I don't think you can fix that one as in my opinion it is a extraneous, intermittant systems warning.

    Hope this helps ''

  9. #24
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    Re: Technical explanations

    We use ID 10 T frequently..

    I opt for the honest approach:

    "why is the system slow?"
    "not enough coal in the boiler..running out of steam I'm afraid".

    "Why are the phones (Cisco IP Phones) doing daft things?"

    "They're shite. Oh, sorry..I mean, we'll look into it."

    My ultimate favourite is to let the phone ring a few times, then pick it up and say something like "hello, maths.."..more often than not, people hang up...

  10. #25
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    Re: Technical explanations

    Q. The internet is down again, why does it never work?

    A. www.bbc.xom/schools is not a website!

  11. #26

    Ric_'s Avatar
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    Re: Technical explanations

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirbendy
    My ultimate favourite is to let the phone ring a few times, then pick it up and say something like "hello, maths.."..more often than not, people hang up...
    This works especially well if you have somebody from that department in your office at the time - e.g. maths rings you so you get a maths teacher to answer

    ... it's the simple things in life!

  12. #27
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    Re: Technical explanations

    Another one I forgot, that I got the chance to use this morning...

    "I'm sorry, but the systems have gone up their own arse again..".

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