+ Post New Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 22
General Chat Thread, Life Questions... in General; 1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? 2. Why do ...
  1. #1

    Gatt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    6,819
    Thank Post
    881
    Thanked 685 Times in 454 Posts
    Rep Power
    505

    Life Questions...

    1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

    2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

    3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    5. Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

    6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?

    8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    10. What is the speed of darkness?

    11. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

    12. If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

    13. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

    14. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    15. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

    16. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

    17. If someone with a split personality threates to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

    18. Can you cry under water?

    19. What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

    20. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

    21. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

    22. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

    23. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

    24. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

    25. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    537
    Thank Post
    2
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
    Rep Power
    19

    Re: Life Questions...

    A few answers:

    2. The origins of evil has taxed the greatest minds throughout the course of history.

    4. It does when it's on the outside of the bottle.

    10. Same as the speed of light.

    15. Teaching and learning.

    18. Yes.

    25 Less likely to get arrested.

  3. #3

    Andrew_C's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Winchester
    Posts
    3,137
    Thank Post
    65
    Thanked 424 Times in 319 Posts
    Rep Power
    169

    Re: Life Questions...

    1. Might actually help as you make a better contact (more surface area) and reduce the resistance

    2. Look up B*stards in a dictionary

    10. You need to read more Terry Pratchet

    13. Ask the monkeys

    14. Have you never been to Portsmouth?

    19. Royalty? Or is that something else?

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    138
    Thank Post
    0
    Thanked 19 Times in 10 Posts
    Rep Power
    38

    Re: Life Questions...

    7. Because the Superman we see on the screen is only an actor.
    21. Square boxes are easier to pack.


    Do crabs think we walk sideways?
    What does cheese say when it has its photo taken?
    Is the Hokey-Cokey really what its all about?
    If somebody vanishes without a trace, how do you know they are missing?
    Why is the wife of a king a queen, but the husband of a queen a prince?

    And now for two that have verifiable answers...

    How many Three Stooges where there?
    What is the Loan Rangers mask made from?

  5. #5

    GrumbleDook's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Gosport, Hampshire
    Posts
    10,074
    Thank Post
    1,384
    Thanked 1,888 Times in 1,169 Posts
    Blog Entries
    19
    Rep Power
    614

    Re: Life Questions...

    19. It is murder instigated at the behest of someone else. eg .. I get sick and tired of Bisley98 but get Russdev to kill her ... I have her assissinated but Russdev is guilty of murder.

  6. #6

    russdev's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Leicestershire
    Posts
    6,985
    Thank Post
    735
    Thanked 559 Times in 374 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    Rep Power
    206

    Re: Life Questions...

    Has anyone heard from Bisley98 recently !!!!



    Russ

  7. #7


    tom_newton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Leeds
    Posts
    4,507
    Thank Post
    871
    Thanked 862 Times in 681 Posts
    Rep Power
    199

    Re: Life Questions...

    3 - because paint being wet is something we can easily check. It is human nature to query things we understand, and not those we don't, or don't believe we understand. See also: shed painting.

  8. #8
    StewartKnight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    1,587
    Thank Post
    2
    Thanked 27 Times in 21 Posts
    Rep Power
    31

    Re: Life Questions...

    12. Bubble Wrap

  9. #9
    Midget's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    In a Server Room cutting through a forest of Cat5e
    Posts
    1,298
    Thank Post
    5
    Thanked 59 Times in 49 Posts
    Rep Power
    40

    Re: Life Questions...

    8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    To stop them from bumping their head, getting knocked out and missing their target or hitting another plane

  10. #10
    Elky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    485
    Thank Post
    4
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Re: Life Questions...

    Quote Originally Posted by Andrew_C

    14. Have you never been to Portsmouth?
    Oi - whats wrong with Portsmouth?! Haha

  11. #11


    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    8,202
    Thank Post
    442
    Thanked 1,033 Times in 813 Posts
    Rep Power
    341

    Re: Life Questions...

    13. Assuming twice as cold = half the temperature then the answer is -139.8 degrees centigrade because zero centigrade is +273 kelvin. If the outside temperature is zero kelvin then things couldn't get any colder. /geek

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Central Scotland
    Posts
    829
    Thank Post
    12
    Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    19

    Re: Life Questions...

    26. Why does the first sentence that everyone utters to me on the phone these days start with "I know your busy.. but"

  13. #13
    Midget's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    In a Server Room cutting through a forest of Cat5e
    Posts
    1,298
    Thank Post
    5
    Thanked 59 Times in 49 Posts
    Rep Power
    40

    Re: Life Questions...

    26. Why does the first sentence that everyone utters to me on the phone these days start with "I know your busy.. but"

    because they are insinuating that you aren't actually busy.

  14. #14

    Andrew_C's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Winchester
    Posts
    3,137
    Thank Post
    65
    Thanked 424 Times in 319 Posts
    Rep Power
    169

    Re: Life Questions...

    Quote Originally Posted by Elky
    Oi - what's wrong with Portsmouth?! Haha
    I was born there, so I know what I'm talking about! It does have one redeeming feature; all the major road junctions have big signs with "OUT OF CITY" in large, friendly letters...

  15. #15
    gwendes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,501
    Thank Post
    163
    Thanked 31 Times in 30 Posts
    Rep Power
    29

    Re: Life Questions...

    Quote Originally Posted by Elky
    Quote Originally Posted by Andrew_C

    14. Have you never been to Portsmouth?
    Oi - whats wrong with Portsmouth?! Haha
    LOL - There are some nice people in Portsmouth This thread is funny - in 'normal' people forums people just accept the stupid American 'questions' and say how correct they are. In a tech forum each is scrutenized... it's beautiful to watch!

    On the point about Pizza boxes it is so they are easy to make flat - otherwise they would take up a lot of space in transit...



SHARE:
+ Post New Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Half-Life-ep2 - Is that it?!
    By contink in forum General Chat
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 19th October 2007, 09:18 AM
  2. Second Life?
    By Robunta in forum Blue Skies
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 11th July 2007, 10:32 AM
  3. EduGeek on Second Life
    By Dos_Box in forum Comments and Suggestions
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 20th December 2006, 01:41 AM
  4. Anyone a Half Life 2 fan?
    By Geoff in forum Gaming
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 6th February 2006, 05:59 PM
  5. Really the Life of a Techie
    By mrtechsystems in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 29th July 2005, 02:26 PM

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •