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General Chat Thread, Understanding Engineers in General; Understanding Engineers - One Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get ...
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    mattx's Avatar
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    Understanding Engineers

    Understanding Engineers - One

    Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one
    said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
    The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding
    my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to
    the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
    The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes
    probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
    Understanding Engineers - Two

    To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is
    To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
    Understanding Engineers - Three

    A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
    particularly slow group of golfers.
    The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for
    fifteen minutes!"
    The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
    The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with
    He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're
    rather slow, aren't they?"
    The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes.. That's a group of blind firemen.
    They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
    always let them play for free anytime."
    The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I
    think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
    The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
    colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
    The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
    Understanding Engineers - Four

    What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
    Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
    Understanding Engineers - Five

    The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
    Understanding Engineers - Six

    Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have
    designed the human body.
    One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
    Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has
    many thousands of electrical connections."
    The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
    Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
    Understanding Engineers - Seven

    Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features

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    SimpleSi's Avatar
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    Re: Understanding Engineers

    I'd never heard number 2 before


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    Re: Understanding Engineers

    Number 5 cracked me up
    So true. :twisted:

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