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General Chat Thread, Things you'd never hear on a film about computers in General; Just something daft. What wouldn't you hear on a hollywood blockbuster about computers? Something like: Jack Bauer: "Send me the ...
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    Hightower's Avatar
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    Things you'd never hear on a film about computers

    Just something daft. What wouldn't you hear on a hollywood blockbuster about computers?

    Something like:

    Jack Bauer: "Send me the files now!"
    PFY: "Sending them"
    Bauer: "S***. BSoD! Connect me to the techs"
    PFY: "Patching..."
    Techs: "CP Wordle, the guys of tech. How can I help?"
    Bauer: "I'm being held at gun point and need my laptop but it just BSoD"
    Techs: "Do you have your account number?"

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    Arcath's Avatar
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    Image from:http://xkcd.com/
    Last edited by john; 18th July 2010 at 04:44 PM.

  3. 4 Thanks to Arcath:

    CHR1S (19th July 2010), elsiegee40 (19th July 2010), linuxgirlie (15th July 2010), Rydra (19th July 2010)

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    *from ear piece* "Bond, get the data and get out of there! The guards are just down the hall!"

    *Bond* "HANG ON HANG ON! I've just had to turn it off and on again!"

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    On a simular thread....... "Your airtime balance is.....zero pence!"

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    Dos_Box's Avatar
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    'Just download all the files you find to the disk you have'

    'Erm, there's 750GB, and I only have one floppy, and this computer doesn't even have a floppy drive!'

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    "This Vista OS is a bit of alright innit?"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcath View Post
    comic
    This post requires attribution, see xkcd - A Webcomic - License

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    rolfea's Avatar
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    "Hi Mission Control, could you tell me what 'error 0x00084522' means please?"
    Last edited by rolfea; 16th July 2010 at 02:16 PM.

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    aerospacemango's Avatar
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    "Wait a minute......In the far right-hand corner of the picture....See that blob? Enhance it.....Bring it in....Can you show it at less than 4 miles?...Ok, enhance again""

    "Oh!"

    "Yep, thought so.... That, my friend, is the face of Carlos the Jackal!"

    "Ummmm...Boss...With only 3.5megapixels, the resolution is sooo poor that that could be just about anyone who has a head!"

    "Yep...so go arrest him!"

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    Hello control, I followed your instructions and put my stick in the slot. Nothing happening, Over.
    .
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    .
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    Oh - control - sorry - crease in the instructions you gave me. Now using the USB Stick Over

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    aerospacemango's Avatar
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    "You know, I think there may be a glitch in the system somewhere"

    "And why would that be?"

    "Well, I set that bomb to go off about 20mins ago....Now, I gave it a 10 minute fuse, and put the countdown on your PC screen...see it?...Yep, just there! Right, so we've been chatting for a couple of minutes now, and the countdown has still only got to 8:58 and counting"

    "Is this because of the rip in the space\time continuum?"

  13. #12

    webman's Avatar
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    aerospacemango: Must be using the Windows Vista file copy time estimate algorithm

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    Quote Originally Posted by webman View Post
    aerospacemango: Must be using the Windows Vista file copy time estimate algorithm
    Or "Microsoft Minutes" in general...

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    Hightower's Avatar
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    January 19th 2038 03:00

    "We have a problem sir!"

    "Yeah?"

    "In exactly 14 minutes our systems will start behaving eratically"

    "How?"

    "Millenium bug Captain"

    "The millenium bug happened nearly 38 years ago!"

    "Yes sir, but we run on unix"

    "And?"


    "Well sir, I don't have time to explain, but there's a whole s*** storm coming our way in 14 minutes!"
    Last edited by Hightower; 16th July 2010 at 02:42 PM. Reason: got my times wrong!

  16. #15


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    Quote Originally Posted by Dos_Box View Post
    'Just download all the files you find to the disk you have'

    'Erm, there's 750GB, and I only have one floppy, and this computer doesn't even have a floppy drive!'
    Plus he's not even taken #99 into account: "Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size."

    Evil Overlord List



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