gizmo2005 (28th July 2010)
I met a mate in a take away curry place to be greeted with "Hello mate what are you doing here?"
Completely putting myself in the firing line, I've been bought up vegetarian, so never ate meat, and obviously didn't really consider it much. So I never questioned my dad when he told me animals are made up of meat, muscle, bone, fat and gristle. What was originally said to make me feel better about trying to start eating meat made me look very silly in biology. I should have learnt to question him after the other kids told me that the ice cream van wasn't empty when the music was playing...
My Daughter thought she had been to Brazil when younger and when we asked what made her think this she proclaimed " I have been to Barcelona and that's in Brazil!!"
note: she was 19 at the time
Our EWO here called yesterday - a very irritating man. "Printers jammed" so I trundle down to sort it out.
EWO: "While you're here, I have a new laptop at home. In a book I have it asks me to click the left button. Would that be this one?" while pointing to the left cursor key.
The teacher in the room at the time burst out laughing and I even had to turn away to laugh before straightening my face to provide him with a serious answer.
He came in today with his laptop and asked for help again:
On Windows 7 he said "The IE with a circle was in the bottom left and I just clicked that for the internet. It has disappeared though. Eeeeee, I'm terrible with computers. You must think I'm an idiot"
ME: "Yes" while pinning the IE icon back to the taskbar
EWO: "Oh, I tried for hours to do that last night, and it has just taken you two seconds. You've really got this computer larky down"
ME: "That's maybe why I get paid for working with computers"
EWO: "Right, well thanks, now to shut it down"
He's looking for ages at the screen so I lean across to tap the power button to start the shutdown for him
EWO: "NO! Don't do that?"
ME: "Excuse me?"
EWO: "I was told never to do that!"
Computer proceeds to successfully shutdown
EWO: "I'll have to turn it back on because last time I did that I had to get someone out to fix it"
Computer successfully boots up
EWO: Confused "The last time I did that someone had to come out and install new anti-virus software. It completely buggered it up"
ME: Can't even be bothered to question that as doubt a sensible response from him!
BOSS: "You know Mr X, you can request computer courses via work"
EWO: "Oh, I don't need lessons, just need to sit down with someone for half an hour and I'll be fine."
EWO looks at me.....
ME: "Sorry, not covered on job description to teach people with a mental age of 1 and a half. I can however offer private tuition at around £150 per hour"
EWO: "No, it's okay. I'll struggle on. Thanks"
had a teacher here who teachs a-levels and asked us how to save a document - File - Save was the reply
We were in stiches!!
He has now bought an iphone - que more stiches
I recently purchased the very pretty Panasonic Lumix G1, it's awesome!
My brother see's the fact I've bought the camera, and says "Woah, sweet camera! What are you going to use it for?"
I thought a very precise reply of "taking pictures" was more than enough.
I helped my Dad pick up something he bought on ebay and once we arrived to pick it up my dad had to phone the seller. He gets his phone out to make the call and then says:
"What does this Emerg. Calls only mean?"
Heres one from the far past, when I was a student at high school:
As I walk into the main Office reception (to investigate about my paid IT work)
Princpal: Can't you read, this is not the student office.
To this day I wish that I had actually responded with what popped into my mind:
"Of course not, I'm a student at this school, why would you expect me to know how to read"
The most ammusing bit however was the prizegiving assembly six weeks later where she sheepishly had to award me with two top of subject awards
i have to admit that i have done a blunder :'( o well it takes a big person to admit it lol
when i was younger we lived in a pub in the midlands and we had a DIY shop at the end of the road, i was about 10 years old and thought i new everything as you do, and way i was helping my father with changing the optics and cleaning the pipes.....
my father turned to me and said "i need you to go to the DIY store and ask them for a bubble for the spirt level as this one has popped" so i walked over the road repeating what hew had asked me for bubble for spirit level as the other one has popped!!!! bubble for spirit level as the other one has popped!!!!!! got to the store and i asked for some help as i couldnt see bubble for spirit level on any shelves,,, i asked this guy who used to drink in our pub can i have a bubble for the spirit level on the optics at our pub as the one before has popped,,,, (how nieve of me) he shouted to his mate that was working mate this lad is looking for a spirit level bubble for the optics in the pub, i thought this was normal, his mate turned to me and said sorry we havnt got any but can you tell your dad we have orderd the left hand screwdriver that he wanted......
walkes back and said to my dad they told me they havnt got any bubbles for the spirit level for the optics but he told me that he has orderd your left handed screwdriver that you wanted, to which all the early bird drinkers in the pub laughed there heads off!!!!!
what a fool i was lol
"Go to the store for a long weight" That's what you get, a long wait, while they ignore you
Skirting ladder, some kept a ladder from a budgie cage handy.
never been said to me but....
When working as a fitter in a factory many years ago we managed to get the apprentice to go to main stores for a Bubble for the spirit level.(1/2 a mile walk). He returned with a question from the store manager as to which bubble was needed Vertical or Horizontal????
Fun only stopped when the manager asked him why he kept walking down to the stores......
Haha, I just found these two in the notes section on my phone....
Situation #1 is when instructing a customer through a remote support session..
Me: "Ok, type in this address and then click on the pop up"
Customer: "Ok, I've done that and it's installing"
Me: "Ok, when the next box pops up, please type in your name so that I can identify you"
Customer: "Whats my name?"
Situation #2 is when I'm trying to guide a customer over the phone in real time to our office using google maps.
Me: "Ok, so you're on Station road?"
Customer: "Yes, I'm just coming up to the end of it"
Me: "Ok... *hears car turning* ...which way did you just turn?"
Customer: "I can't remember"
Two epic memory fails on both!
Happens all the time with the missus:
HER: "You need to turn right here"
ME: "There is no right here!"
HER: "There! There!"
ME: "That's left dear"
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)