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General Chat Thread, Hard time in General; If you're truly not happy where you are and think you'll be happier closer to wherever your home is then ...
  1. #31
    Sarconia's Avatar
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    If you're truly not happy where you are and think you'll be happier closer to wherever your home is then go for it, just beware that it will cost you. Surely though... the value of the house can't have fluctuated that much in 3 months?

  2. #32

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    If you're really not happy there (and 3 months is quite a short time to know) then do it. It will cost money but in the scheme of things your happiness is worth much more than cash (IMHO).

    I bought and sold a flat within 8 months because I hated it - it cost me a couple of grand but the relief I felt when I handed the keys overs was immense!

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hightower View Post
    Ah well, here we are nearly 3 months after I first moved in. And guess what...... nothing has changed. I want to sell up shop and move to the same village as my family and friends. So, now I've got to weigh up what it's going to cost me to move. Solicitors, estate agents, mortgage penalties. I really want to get the estate agents out to value the house, but I'm so worried they'll tell me it's not worth as much as I paid for it.
    How far away from your friends is it?

    I moved out at 17 and it's been over 5 years now, it helped alot having a car for jaunts back to my local friends.

    If you have more than one bedroom, consider renting the other(s) will make your life alot more 'interesting' (and you will 'usually' end up sharing your social circles)


    p.s if your house has dropped in value chances are everyone in the locality has aswell, so you won't have to downsize or anything...

  4. #34

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    Thing is, this is our first house (mine and the missus). The outstanding on the mortgage is more than the mortgage as we had the mortgage product fees put on top, so the first few months is just spent paying those off. How much does a solicitor charge to sell? It was about £700 to buy. Also, estate agents are going to be around a grand. So yes, it is going to be pricey to move so soon into a mortgage but as the missus says, "if it's affecting your health then we need to move". The thing is it is starting to I believe. The thought of going back 'home' makes me feel sick. I'd rather stay at work until 10pm then go back 'home'.

    I've just come away from a meeting, and I struggled to take in a lot of it because I was sat worrying about having to 'home' tonight. I don't know why I'm worrying and the only thing I can guess is causing it is being away from family and friends.

  5. #35

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    How does the misses feel?

  6. #36
    IanT's Avatar
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    I felt the same when I moved out, I felt a bit down for a few days.................im alright now! lol

  7. #37

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    Like MossJ says, what is the distance from your friends?

  8. #38

    Hightower's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sippo View Post
    Like MossJ says, what is the distance from your friends?
    It's just down the road - about 10 minutes in the car. The thing is I have a strong group of drinking buddies that I play football with, and obviously can't spend the time with them as I would need to drive home. By living in the same village I could go out with them still and not worry about how I would get home.

    Quote Originally Posted by Little-Miss View Post
    How does the misses feel?
    She loves the house! That's the thing that's annoying me because I want to stay there for her, but she can see I'm not myself and she is actually starting to worry for me.

  9. #39

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    Surely it's only a taxi ride away then? I would suggest getting the boys around yours! What with the nice weather beer and bbq...have a party...

    Have you maybe thought it maybe something deeper than just the house? Is work/relationship ok? I don't mean to pry so don't answer if you feel you can't. You're obviously going through a lonely time...

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    Might be an obvious suggestion - but could you not taxi it home? (maybe get a lift there from a mate to reduce costs?)

    And I feel for you, not feeling like you've got a home, and it's more just a house, is never good. hope you get something sorted out soon mate - whatever that requires. And much as your girlfriend loves the place, I'm sure she cares for you more, and would love somewhere else just as much, perhaps more so if it ment you were happy too...

  11. Thanks to RinSewand from:

    Hightower (26th April 2010)

  12. #41

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    Quote Originally Posted by sippo View Post
    Have you maybe thought it maybe something deeper than just the house? Is work/relationship ok? I don't mean to pry so don't answer if you feel you can't. You're obviously going through a lonely time...
    That's just it though - my relationship is better than ever, and work is my get-away at the minute. I love them both very dearly. I've always been my Dads shadow and I think that's maybe the hardest part. A 10 minute car journey is a long way away when I'm used to being by his side.

  13. #42

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    How old are you?

    I don't mean this in a nasty way at all, but you need to gain your independence. If it's only a ten minute drive away then regular visits should be ok. But you can only decide that, and its good to hear that everything else is ok. I would still give it a few months, just because of the market. You'd definately spend £2000 on fees etc. If you are 'home sick' why not stay there on the weekends? Can family not visit you either?

  14. #43

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    Quote Originally Posted by sippo View Post
    How old are you?

    I don't mean this in a nasty way at all, but you need to gain your independence. If it's only a ten minute drive away then regular visits should be ok. But you can only decide that, and its good to hear that everything else is ok. I would still give it a few months, just because of the market. You'd definately spend £2000 on fees etc. If you are 'home sick' why not stay there on the weekends? Can family not visit you either?
    I'm 25. I know people have already said on here "you need to get a life", but I am who I am and I shouldn't have to change that. I don't think it's a case of getting independence - if I move back to the village I came from I'd still have independence, but I'd also be able to spend time with the people I want to spend time with when I need to. Yes, it's a 10 minute drive away now but diesel costs money whereas if I was in the same village I could walk places to visit people as I used to.

    I'm more disappointed with myself that I bought a house where I did - I knew this was going to hit me hard yet I still went with it. I think I've already made up my mind to be honest and I'd be fighting a losing battle if I tried to stay. I'm just gutted I'd be spending all that money when if I'd thought a little more carefully I wouldn't have needed to.

  15. #44

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    Have you established a little space of your own in the new place? Space permitting, it really helps to find a corner (or a room if you have one!) to make your own, fill it with things that interest you and make it comfortable: just somewhere to go and sit and do your own thing from time to time and relax. One of the hardest things about moving in with somebody is the feeling that nothing is yours and everything is shared: we all have a selfish side that needs fulfilling to keep us happy. You may be missing your old room at your parents house more than the area itself, 10 minutes is not very far away at all...

  16. #45

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hightower View Post
    It's just down the road - about 10 minutes in the car.
    Can't you just run home afterwards, then? Have a look at the Ordnance Survey website - you can get proper, detailed maps showing footpaths, there's a good chance there'll be a nice, quiet route home. Night-vision goggles might be a good investment, also.

    --
    David Hicks



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