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General Chat Thread, Random...... in General; Originally Posted by sippo Before you contact anyone I'd just make sure you have your facts correct first. I'd hate ...
  1. #16
    RingOfFlame's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sippo View Post
    Before you contact anyone I'd just make sure you have your facts correct first. I'd hate to call someone then realise I was wrong.
    That is a good point. You do not say what your concerns are, so unless you have actually seen anything with your own eyes I do not think you are in a position to start interfering in peoples lives.

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    Daleus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RingOfFlame View Post
    That is a good point. You do not say what your concerns are, so unless you have actually seen anything with your own eyes I do not think you are in a position to start interfering in peoples lives.
    If there's nothing wrong - nothing will come of it. Better safe than sorry?

  3. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by witch View Post
    But that's my point - the NSPCC NEVER accuse anyone of anything, or refer something up to Social Services until they have investigated. Yes, of course it would be awful to have them on the doorstep and have to explain what was going on. But it isn't an 'official' accusation and wouldn't turn into one unless the NSPCC felt that there was due cause
    I guess it's one of those catch 22 situations. If you say something and its nothing then you feel guilty, if you don't say something and its something then you also feel guilty.

  4. #19
    RingOfFlame's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daleus View Post
    If there's nothing wrong - nothing will come of it. Better safe than sorry?
    A quick google turns up things like this.

    Couple told they cannot have their children back after being wrongfully accused of abuse to take court battle to Europe | Mail Online

    Also do not forget that poor Baby P. It would see that your government cannot get it right, so what make you think the OP is in a better position to interfere?

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    Daleus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RingOfFlame View Post
    A quick google turns up things like this.

    Couple told they cannot have their children back after being wrongfully accused of abuse to take court battle to Europe | Mail Online

    Also do not forget that poor Baby P. It would see that your government cannot get it right, so what make you think the OP is in a better position to interfere?
    If something was wrong - would OP be able to forgive him/herself for not interfering due to the incompetence of local government? Conscience is something no one wants.

  6. #21

    witch's Avatar
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    As I said - contact NSPCC, not Social Services

    and I would imagine the OP HAS seen something or he wouldn't be concerned

  7. #22
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    Child Protection is a huge issue not just in this country. The OP obviously has enough concerns to justify having someone look into this child's welfare. That for me speaks volumes. Better speaking out and potentially saving a life or suffering. If the concerns are unfounded then no harm is done. On the otherhand a child will be saved. It is never as easy decision to make when being in this situation and unless you have walked in the OP's shoes you cannot judge. Obviously SOMETHING has made the OP concerned. Better safe than sorry I reckon.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RingOfFlame View Post
    It would see that your government cannot get it right, so what make you think the OP is in a better position to interfere?
    And here we go again....of course Baby P was a dreadful case, but is that any reason to not help a child that you think is in danger. I'm sure I could turn up any number of similar cases in the USA
    Are you really advocating that a child should be left to possibly suffer Or just

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    RingOfFlame's Avatar
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    I am sure you could. My point is that the OP has given no information so no one can really make a judgment on whether or or not they are in a position to intervene. If they have witnessed abuse / violence then yes they should report it. But if the OP is making a decision based on something else, shouting or screaming through the walls for example then they should think very carefully before they start to interfere.

    So no I am not advocating that a child should be left to possibly suffer or trolling.

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    witch's Avatar
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    If you read the OP, he wasn't asking us to make a 'judgement' about whether we felt that his concern was justified or not, merely where we thought the best place to take his concerns would be.
    Given that you are not in the UK, this would be a difficult question for you to answer, other than the generic 'the authorities', surely?

    Shouting and screaming is also classed as abuse anyway, and certainly should be investigated, even if it proves to be explainable

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    I was just following on from a comment made by sippo. You do not agree and that is fine hunny. Although I find it hard to believe that you have never ever shouted are your children when having to discipline them?

    Would you have been happy to have the authorities come into your home and question your parenting? I very much doubt you would.

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    It's also important to note, that if you suspect something and don't report it (and the courts can prove it) then you yourself are comiting an offence...

    Also you don't get to know if you were right or wrong... It's simply fill in a report and thats that from your POV.

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    @RingOfFlame

    I think the issue is that what-if the situation is bad, like you've said several times nobody knows what is going on... but better to be safe than sorry?

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    Quote Originally Posted by RingOfFlame View Post
    I was just following on from a comment made by sippo. You do not agree and that is fine hunny. Although I find it hard to believe that you have never ever shouted are your children when having to discipline them?

    Would you have been happy to have the authorities come into your home and question your parenting? I very much doubt you would.
    I was just pointing out that making a judgement wasn't what we were asked to do.
    Yes, of course I have shouted at my children (not that you know me so how you can make a judgement like that, I don't know - NOR whether I would be happy to talk to the authorities about my parenting skills), but I am SURE that the OP isn't talking about a bit of shouting.

    I say again, that's why I recommended the NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children - a charity, NOT connected to the authorities - perhaps you didn't realise that)

    Quite honestly, I would rather that 100 innocent parents were questioned by the NSPCC than ONE child was left to suffer.


    No need for patronising remarks BTW - I wasn't asking for your approval

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    Its quite a simple situation really. If you suspect something may be wrong, report it. The authorities know what they need to do. They may already be working on the case, and need more evidence of things being bad.

    If you report it to the NSPCC or the child services people, it will be taken seriously and checked out. This doesn't mean the police will suddenly go and take that child away. What is more likely is they'll contact the school of that child and see if anything else has been noticed etc... maybe go and have a chat with the child and the parents.

    There is a difference between interfering and doing what's best for the child's welfare.

    But then, in the USA, the culture is very different when it comes to governments getting involved in citizens lives. We accept it as a normal part of life over here, most Americans seem to think it shouldn't happen.

    An example of a similar situation - you see what you think is a crime being committed. You don't then think 'what if i'm wrong, if they get arrested and go to court then get found not guilty, i'll have done the wrong thing if I report it!", no, you call the police and tell them. Giving your witness statement and let them determine if it is worthy of investigation and prosecution.
    Last edited by localzuk; 8th February 2010 at 02:13 PM.



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