Keeping a straight face

[SteveBentley]

Just been called to a room where somebody is having trouble getting the microphone on a lectern to work. Which was strange because I didn't think there was a mic in the room.

"Ah, I see the problem - that's not a microphone, it's a light"

Still don't know how I kept a straight face!

[korifugi]

I've had something of a similar level today.

"The IWB machine in the IT suite doesn't work!"

After a whole glance at it I step forward and press a single button...

"Thats because its off..."

[Rydra]

"This laptop is useless. I can't get on emails, internet, documents nothing. stupid thing, I want a new one this one doesn't work!"

Look at laptop, look at user, press button on laptop.... Look bored for 10-12 seconds..... Hand laptop back to user, and try not to refer to them as a moron while you explain about the little Blue light for their Wireless.

Note: this style also works for users who complain they cannot get anything up on the screen, while you press the power button

[BandyQuill]

*SNIP*

Look at laptop, look at user, press button on laptop.... Look bored for 10-12 seconds..... Hand laptop back to user, and try not to refer to them as a moron while you explain about the little Blue light for their Wireless.

*SNIP*

so you have HP's too :P

[tommej]

ORANGE IS OFF.

[Sirbendy]

"drama plasma isn't working".

Go down, look, plug in. Sigh. Walk back.

Had a teacher call - "Teacher X isn't in the corporate directory on the phones.."

"one sec.."..*look in callmanager*.

Teacher - "Back in a tic"...

*to colleagues" OK. Look, see, there she is..741. Says it there. Lets see what my handset says..corporate, i..n..c..oh look, there we go. Not in the fscking directory my arse, bloody muppet. Probably standing on his tongue...OH! Hello Sir, you're back...right..741.."..

Sods in the office were howling with laughter at that point..not sure if the teacher caught my rebuke, mind..