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General Chat Thread, JJonas, in answer to your question... in General; If toast always lands buttered side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you tied ...
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    Batman's Avatar
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    JJonas, in answer to your question...

    If toast always lands buttered side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you tied buttered toast to a cat??!
    The cat is bigger so I would assume the gravitational pull on the cat is stronger.

    So the cat would land on its feet with some buttered toast on it's back. The toast would then no longer be in free fall and would stay in place tied to the cat.

    Would anyone disagree?

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    Random!


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    As the cat falls towards the ground, it will slow down and start to rotate, eventually reaching a steady state of hovering a short distance from the ground while rotating at high speed as both the buttered side of the toast and the catís feet attempt to land on the ground.. Until the cat can reach round and lick off the butter, in which case it will then land on its feet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Batman View Post
    The cat is bigger so I would assume the gravitational pull on the cat is stronger.

    So the cat would land on its feet with some buttered toast on it's back. The toast would then no longer be in free fall and would stay in place tied to the cat.
    No. In Newtonian physics, gravity acts exactly the same on each body WRT acceleration; the difference is air resistance (drop a hammer and a feather on the moon, and they land at the same time - no air).

    I propose that if you tied buttered toast to a cat, all you'll get is an angry feline.

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    mac_shinobi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SYSMAN_MK View Post
    Random!

    That toast wasn't even strapped to the cat !!!

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    Giant Buttered Cat Array
    Presented by Dr Robert PhD, PHB, OU812, K.E.L.L.O.G.S.

    When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet. And when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link Dover with Edinburgh.

    The Buttered Cat Principle - Examined in more depth

    The Facts... If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the floor butter- side down. If a cat is dropped from a window or other high and towering place, it will land on it's feet.

    The Problem Stated... But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter-side up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window? Will the cat land on it's feet? Or will the butter splat on the ground?

    The Answer... Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground, and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand that the cat can not smash its furry back. If the combined construct were to land, nature would have no way to resolve this paradox. Therefore it simply does not fall.

    That's right you clever mortal (well, as clever as a mortal can get), you have discovered the secret of antigravity! A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing some of the cat's fur, allowing descent.

    Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this principle to drive their ships while within a planetary system. The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFOs is, in fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies.

    The one obvious danger is, of course, if the cats manage to eat the bread off their backs they will instantly plummet. Of course the cats will land on their feet, but this usually doesn't do them much good, since right after they make their graceful landing several tons of red- hot starship and ticked off aliens crash on top of them.

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    rolfea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mac_shinobi View Post
    That toast wasn't even strapped to the cat !!!
    IT"S NOT EVEN TOAST. IT'S A SLICE OF BREAD!

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    Little-Miss's Avatar
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    Are you guys bored?!

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    The Cat-Toast Device is the never-ending source of energy that powers the Uncyclopedia (Also known as "The Buttered Cat Turbine").

    The device is composed of two pure substances:

    * Cats - small mammals that always land on their feet.
    * Buttered Toast - tasty breakfast food that always lands butter-side down.

    Oscar Wilde, always one to recognize the violation of laws of quantum mechanics, found a way to harness the limitless potential energy of the hovering cat-toast creation to power his Uncyclopedia.

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    Quote Originally Posted by powdarrmonkey View Post
    I propose that if you tied buttered toast to a cat, all you'll get is an angry feline.
    Sounds feasible.

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    mac_shinobi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rolfea View Post
    IT"S NOT EVEN TOAST. IT'S A SLICE OF BREAD!
    I was bound to miss that part lol

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    mac_shinobi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by witch View Post
    * Cats - small mammals that always land on their feet.
    * Buttered Toast - tasty breakfast food that always lands butter-side down.
    You could always butter both sides and which ever side lands face down just get a butter knife and scrape the crud off lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little-Miss View Post
    Are you guys bored?!
    not at all.. this is just more important

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