alan-d (13th July 2009)
Thou shalt not purchase software or hardware without consulting with the IT staff.
john (13th July 2009)
Thou shalt not approach IT support without a packet of biscuits.
Wils86 (13th July 2009)
10 Commandments for Network Admins:
1. Thou shalt understand the language of binary.
10. Do what thou wilt shalt be the whole of the law.
Thou shalt stoppeth not the IT Technicians in the Corridors to consult with them, nor in the Staff Room, nor in the Dining Hall, nor in the Toilets, for they know not which Computer Room is free next period, nor do they know what you have just emailed them (even though they seeth all and knoweth all, sometimes they just forgetteth as their memory is likened unto a sieve).
We are the your Lord Gods, who brought you out of the land of Abacus, out of the house of filing cabnets;
Do not have any other gods before us
You shall make yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is animal (pengiuns), vegitable (apples, apricots) or minerial (er, windows)
You shall bow down to them or worship them; for we your Lord Gods are vengeful Gods, punishing users with BSODs and viri
but showing steadfast uptime to the users who love us and keep our commandments
You shall not make wrongful use of the username, for the Lords will not acquit anyone who misuses his username
Remember the last day of term and keep it holy (buy your techies biscuits!)
For the school holidays we shall labour and do all our work
But the last day of term is holy to your Lord Gods; you shall not pray upon them to work - you, your staff or your pupils, your male or female admins, or the visitors upon your premises
For six weeks the Lords made the network and the file system, the backups and all that is in them, but they rested on the last day of term; therefore the Lords blessed the holy days and expected biscuits upon it.
Honor your Technicians and Network Manager, so that your logons may be long in the network that your Lord Gods are giving you.
You shall not murder (even a ZX80 can be given productive use)
You shall commit adultery (for all operating systems be the Mac, Linux or Windows have their use)
You shall not steal (for bandwidth and disk space is for everybodys use - not just your own)
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor (nor still his logon such the you may gain or cause disruption to the network)
You shall not covet your neighbor's computer, you shall not covet your neighbor's home space, or mouse, or keyboard, or anything that your neighbor should be working with.
The shalt not phoneth the IT Technician at home to ask how to set up your wireless network, especially so if it is late at night.
mac_shinobi (13th July 2009)
1. thou shall not spill milk in your laptop and leave it to go furry then expect me to sondem it as it still works
2. thou shall remember your password and not expect me to
3. thou shall not change your laptops password without changing your domain password to match
4. thou shall not bug tecd 10 seconds before they leave for the day
5. thou shall report the problem not what you think will solve it
6. thou shall tell me what you did not what you think i need to hear
7. thou shall change the backup tape and if you dont dont moan you deleted/cottupted a file
8. thou shall check batteries in appropriate devices before calling
9. thou shalt listen to what you are told so i dont hav to tell you every week
10. thou shall provide cake/crisps/choccy hob nobs
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