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General Chat Thread, women... the great mystery! in General; MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank ...
  1. #31
    acrobson's Avatar
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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

    A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
    installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw
    cash without leaving their vehicles.

    Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
    outlined below when accessing their accounts."

    "After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
    developed.

    Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."


    MALE PROCEDURE:


    1. Drive up to the cash machine.

    2. Put down your car window.

    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Put window up.

    7. Drive off.




    ************ **********************************

    FEMALE PROCEDURE:


    Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth!!!!


    1. Drive up to cash machine.

    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
    machine.

    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

    4. Find handbag, remove all contents

    on to passenger seat to locate card.

    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
    distance from the car.

    8. Insert card.

    9. Re-insert card the right way.

    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
    back page.

    11. Enter PIN.

    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

    13. Enter amount of cash required.

    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
    checkbook.

    18. Re-check makeup.

    19. Drive forward 2 feet.

    20. Reverse back to cash machine.

    21. Retrieve card.

    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
    provided!

    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

    25. Redial person on cell phone

    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

    27. Release Parking Brake.

  2. #32
    acrobson's Avatar
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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Check out the attached....Men Only!
    Attached Files Attached Files

  3. #33

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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Stewartknight:
    Just a bit of fun
    No more pointless than asking how tidy your server room is, where you wish you were or any of the other things like that on this forum.
    OR posts about the Wii, men wearing skirts, sport and geeking etc etc, all of which you contributed to!

  4. #34

    witch's Avatar
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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Interesting avatar, acrobson
    A hero of yours?



    enough, enough!
    Must go and do some work

  5. #35
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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Instead of a Male v Female thread, we should have a Male + Female thread....now that would really be worth escaping my cage for !!!!

  6. #36
    acrobson's Avatar
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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Quote Originally Posted by WITCH
    Interesting avatar, acrobson
    A hero of yours?



    enough, enough!
    Must go and do some work
    No, just it's along my line of work, network security and parasite prevention etc.

    Now the ladies are atarting to get personal then, hum!

  7. #37
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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Quote Originally Posted by Witch
    For most causes of death - rates are higher for men than women
    If this is true then there must be one cause of death that women do pretty badly on - or a smaller % of women die at all when compared to men?

    Perhaps the mystery cause of female death has something to do with falling from a great height on to sofa's - hence the need for the extra cusions!

  8. #38

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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Women have boobs. They win!

  9. #39

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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    If this is true then there must be one cause of death that women do pretty badly on
    I believe it's called 'childbirth'.

  10. #40
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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    "Women have boobs, they win",

    Skoggmeiger, so does most of the management staff at my college and LEA, and they are all male. So explain that one!

  11. #41

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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Women have nicer* boobs.

    * in about 99% of cases.

  12. #42
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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Quote Originally Posted by Skoggmeiger
    Women have nicer* boobs.

    * in about 99% of cases.
    Thats more like it.

  13. #43

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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Yeah, women have the breast boobs 8)

  14. #44
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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Quote Originally Posted by limbo
    there must be one cause of death that women do pretty badly on
    Car acidents at < 5mph

  15. #45
    acrobson's Avatar
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    Re: women... the great mystery!

    Quote Originally Posted by mark
    Quote Originally Posted by limbo
    there must be one cause of death that women do pretty badly on
    Car acidents at < 5mph )
    Too right, and talking people to death!

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