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General Chat Thread, A School Network Manager's Song in General; (A friendly reminder of the original G&S is here - read in tandem if you fancy a headache!) I am ...
  1. #1

    Ephelyon's Avatar
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    A School Network Manager's Song

    (A friendly reminder of the original G&S is here - read in tandem if you fancy a headache!)

    I am the very model of an ICT professional
    My duties range from technical to all things managerial
    Alas, in spite of all of this I'm viewed as superficial
    My protestations swept aside and branded artificial
    And yet I'm not disheartened to discover I'm so trivial
    I go about my business in a manner quite convivial
    Though many would describe my role as simply immaterial
    And treat me as they would a piece of effluent posterial

    I'm very well acquainted with the parallel and serial
    I diagnose all problems from the cable to ethereal
    In short, in matters technical through all things managerial
    I am the very model of an ICT professional

    I know that those above me will attempt their machinations
    I resist them but, alas, it may well lead to my castration
    Though when it's not coming from above I'll feel it from below instead
    Whichever way I turn I'm sure I'll face another knucklehead
    I guarantee our work will draw the criticism of the proles
    Although they couldn't grasp the messages we leave in pigeon-holes
    Despite our greatest efforts we'll do poorly in opinion polls
    Frustrating when respondents have the intellect of sausage rolls

    Yet always must I stay within the bounds of the congenial
    When managing a team whose purpose is to be remedial
    In short, in matters technical through all things managerial
    I am the very model of an ICT professional

    I deal too with users on a daily basis, questioning
    Decisions I have made, some of the comments don't bear mentioning
    I'd love to help you out but I must fix the air conditioning
    For if it's got a plug it's left to us to get it functioning
    At times I am confronted with the sheerest of banality
    Unfailing in my duty to avert the next calamity
    Importantly I must maintain a sense of joviality
    Or join official stats for jobs with high rates of mortality

    Yet with clouds on the horizon I may shortly be vestigial
    My services discarded in a manner uncollegial
    But still, in matters technical through all things managerial
    I am the very model of an ICT professional
    Last edited by Ephelyon; 10th March 2014 at 08:46 PM.

  2. 45 Thanks to Ephelyon:

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  3. #2
    FWBD's Avatar
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    Perfect.

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    Ephelyon's Avatar
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    Thanks!

    I wrote the first four lines a couple of years ago during job evaluation. It was originally "a specialist professional" because that was part of the definition for Level 6 Knowledge that they weren't letting me have. The rest was a weekend time-filler just now.

    Who wants to sing it? :P

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    hardtailstar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ephelyon View Post
    Who wants to sing it? :P

    Give me a few days......

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    FWBD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ephelyon View Post
    Who wants to sing it? :P
    I could just about manage the first few lines of the original one so trying a completely new variant should be fun!

  7. #6

    Ephelyon's Avatar
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    Three-part harmony then? xD

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ephelyon View Post
    Three-part harmony then? xD
    If I could sing I would... :P

  9. #8

    sonofsanta's Avatar
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    Good Lord that's a marvel of verbosity. The rhyming dictionary must have been thoroughly thumbed!

  10. #9

    Dos_Box's Avatar
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    @Ephelyon Can I move this to general chat so the rest of the internet can see it in all its glory?

  11. #10

    Ephelyon's Avatar
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    @Dos_Box: Feel free, I've commented saying I wrote it now so by all means...
    Last edited by Ephelyon; 12th March 2014 at 06:38 PM.

  12. #11
    cromertech's Avatar
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    That is a work of pure genius. Did try reading through while listening to the song and it's not the easiest of tasks but I'm contemplating giving it a go

  13. #12

    Bompalompalomp's Avatar
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    I am but a lowly technician, but get me drunk enough and I'll be singing this from the rooftops.

  14. #13

    SpuffMonkey's Avatar
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    So the Edu-choir has its first song to learn! ;-)

  15. #14

    Ephelyon's Avatar
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    I am the very model of a modern Major-General

    Looks like it could be arranged for SATB! =]
    @witch, what do you think?

  16. #15
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    Thankfully we have no need for a song like that.

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