General Chat Thread, Need a hug - feeling a bit sorry for myself in General; Now I am crying too because of @ pickman 's poem.
I know exactly how you feel. A family dog ...
14th January 2014, 02:42 PM #16
Now I am crying too because of @pickman 's poem.
I know exactly how you feel. A family dog is so much more than just an animal. Mine is now 14 and getting more needy by the day. We can't really go away on holiday now as he gets quite beside himself and won't leave the front door if neither of us are at home. I wonder how much longer he will last but I try and enjoy every day.
Just don't feel that you should "pull yourself together". Be sad, cry, and think of the good times. Cuddle your wife and talk about him.
I think there is some grief for your dad and grandad in there too. Let it out.
eduhobnobs, edujd and anything else that might help.
14th January 2014, 02:59 PM #17
Sorry to hear that matey! It's a vile time when something like that happens I know how you feel. When I was born my mum decided to get a puppy, a collie cross this puppy was found routing through bins and abandoned. Never hurt a sole my dad found him on his police rounds and asked if he could bring him home after 4 weeks of this dog being taken care of by prisoners. We had him in the end I was 1 when he turned up we called him Sam. He never would hurt anyone such a loyal and best friend of mine.
When I turned 16 he had to be put down (there was a lot wrong with him) he must have been around 18. My dad told me in the car on my way home after school! I didn't cry, well maybe a little I just wen quiet and never stopped thinking of him.
We now have a new dog "GEORGE" cockerspaniel he has the same temperament as Sam does but no one can replace him he was my best friend for over half my life! It's hard I know *gives man hug*
14th January 2014, 03:55 PM #18
StevieM hug heading your way (and I'm good at hugs!).
You have my most sincere sympathy. I can only begin to imagine how you must be feeling. The relationship between a man and his dog is something that cannot be understood by anyone who has never experienced it. I only know how much my Jess means to me, and even the thought of losing her is unbearable.
You will never be able to replace him but, as others have said, make sure you spend some quality time with your other dog and remember the good times.
14th January 2014, 03:58 PM #19
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Its really difficult and I think I'm been unfair as Pepper is the same breed but totally different to him
14th January 2014, 04:36 PM #20
Huge hugs heading your way. I had to let one of mine go back in November and it was heartbreaking to stand there and hold him as he went. My ex and I cried for ages afterwards. His brother Jack, (same litter) still looks for him (as do I). I know what you are going through and all I will say is stay in the server room in tears as long as you can, let it all come out and then remember him with the love and affection that he had for you. Spare a thought for your other one as well as she is looking for her pal and probably can't under stand why he's not there. Try to smile when you think of him. He would never have wanted to make you sad.
15th January 2014, 10:24 AM #21
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Thank you all for the kind replies, feeling a bit better today for now. I have set up a webcam on Pepper so i can watch her while i am at work. dont know if this is a good or bad thing. She seams restless, i dont know if this is how she is normally but I would have thought if I'd have done this a few weeks ago she would have been more calm. She just seams to be laying in one position for 10 mins then getting up and moving to another chair or the floor then laying again.
Think now i am more upset thinking about her missing him.
I dont know what to do really as to be honest she didnt get much attention as she arrived just a few months before our baby. So she got pushed out a little bit, she was always getting wrong to as shes younger and would try to be first ( i think she was trying to protect my old dog) but she would push into him, or stand on him while he was laid down ( no spacial awareness) . I want to fuss her and spoil her. And take her with me in the car when we go places. But I dont want to cause separation anxiety.
15th January 2014, 10:42 AM #22
I think the answer lies in the middle. Give her a bit more attention than you did before - but don't go overboard. She will be missing him but don't give her human feelings - she will get over it with a bit more love and attention.
15th January 2014, 12:31 PM #23
I still cry over my beloved Cat Truffle who died a couple of years ago. There is no shame in loving a pet this much. They are part of our families and they are easy to become emotionally invested in. When Enzo was hit by a car I was in such a mess I had to use annual leave allowance as I couldn't face work when I knew he was sick and hurting.
When Truffie died my parents were out of the house and came home to find that she had clearly had a seizure of some kind and was lying in the middle of the floor. Her little body was cold and a bit stiff so they think she had been gone a while and they found our other cat hiding under a bed upstairs - she seemed quite traumatised and wouldn't walk through the lounge where Truffie had been.
My dad removed Truffies bed too soon - he couldn't look at it but he didn't give our other cat, Tigga, time to come to terms with Truffie being 'missing' - she howled for weeks and searched restlessly all the time. I know it is hard but don't pack away his bed or toys - the gradual fade out of his smell will help your other dog realise that he is gone. Don't change her routine if you can help it as this will stress her. Give her plenty of attention and time. Don't be tempted to get another dog to keep her company - at least not straightaway.
I miss my beautiful angel:
Thanks to AMLightfoot from:
MattDLEA (15th January 2014)
15th January 2014, 12:40 PM #24
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If we didnt have our other dog I would have been straight out and got another yesterday morning. However at the moment the plan is to wait until our little one is walking and a bit more stable on her feet so probably next year; It will also give us time to give pepper more attention. Saying that though we are off on a greyhound walk week on Sunday so who knows.
Talking about it on here is helping.
Pepper was outside the door looking in at him when the vet was there so hopefully that gave her a bit more of understanding.
15th January 2014, 12:47 PM #25
I think you might need to give yourselves time to grieve - don't get another dog quite yet.Your old dog hasn't really left yet. He needs to be sent on his way with thoughts and tears before you can commit to another one. Also, it might not be very fair on Pepper - she might be fine with it but she might wonder even more where he is and who this interloper is. Give her time to "forget" him first
Last edited by witch; 15th January 2014 at 12:52 PM.
Thanks to witch from:
ButterflyMoon (15th January 2014)
15th January 2014, 04:23 PM #26
Some people find that they can't bear to get a new pet so soon after losing one but some people find that they need to fill that gap straightaway. I don't view a new pet as a 'replacement' but instead I see each pet as contributing their own personality to our family. When a pet dies that special thing they offered (in my case, Truffie had a specific way she would 'give loves' where she would rub herself on you really vigorously) can't be replaced, but there is room in your heart and your home for a different personality. Enzo is nothing at all like Truffie and I love him for his own quirks, not because he replaces her. She was never a lap cat for example, but would rub herself vigorously. Enzo is an unashamed lap cat who is happy to keep you company without needing lots of petting. Truffie was very clever in her play - she understood that when she pulled a mouse on a string out of the box, the ping pong ball on the other end of the string would rise up and she'd dash backwards and forwards around the box pulling the ball then the mouse in turn. Enzo on the other hand loves to play with fishing rod toys and climb the book case. They are two different personalities that occupy the same space in my life in totally different ways and I love them both for their individuality.
Originally Posted by MattDLEA
15th January 2014, 04:37 PM #27
Have been there before and you have my sympathy dogs are the most loyal and caring of creatures and to loose one always hurts. Still miss my boy now.
17th January 2014, 12:43 PM #28
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I always think if you dont get upset when a pet dies then you should never have a pet in the first place. Pets are there to be loved and give so much back.I have always found it unbearable when I have lost one. Very sorry. Hugs.
17th January 2014, 06:49 PM #29
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Sending man hugs.
I still remember when my dog died, i cried for two days.
18th January 2014, 03:51 PM #30
I remember when my first hamster dies. I left for work as normal and had checked her that morning and she was fine. Got a call from my Dad (at home), just before lunch. He asked me to get back asap. Luckily I am only 10-15 mins from home. I dashed home just in time. I went back in to school later that afternoon and cried in the Server room. I ended up being driven home by my NM early.
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