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General Chat Thread, Feeling Old in General; Totally agree @ broc my grandsons and granddaughter are the loves of my life and make all the dark scary ...
  1. #91
    ButterflyMoon's Avatar
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    Totally agree @broc my grandsons and granddaughter are the loves of my life and make all the dark scary days worthwhile. They bring so much joy into my life and everyone around them

  2. #92


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    Quote Originally Posted by Hedghog View Post
    @witch
    As my brother said to me at my mothers funeral last month "we are the grandparents now"
    Funnily enough, similar thoughts occurred to me when my grandmother passed away - my mum and her brother are now the 'top of the pyramid' (as I like to think of it) and all of us that were in the bottom tier 'grandchild' bracket have now moved up to the middle. Less than a month to go until the big 30 and I'm feeling a bit old - feels a bit like 'where has my life gone?'. House, mortgage, 2 cars, 1 Cat, 1 Rabbit, thinking about starting a family. 'Going shopping' now means 'food shopping' instead of going into town. I have to walk past pretteh shoes because we need new guttering and carpets. The prospect of shopping for homewares in Dunelm Mill and IKEA fills me with excitement and a sense of purpose. I no longer look at clothing and think 'frumpy and old' or 'something a 30 year old would wear', I think 'Oooo I like that'. My crafting is no longer a guilty secret hidden from the girls at school but something I promote, am proud of and occasionally sell! When I buy a car I am no longer looking primarily at style and power but how much it costs to tax and run and the fuel consumption. I have a responsible job doing important things instead of a Saturday job at WHSmith. My garden is for BBQs and plants. I have a greenhouse, a compost bin and veg patch.

    But on the flipside:
    I don't have to do homework or coursework or uni assignments so I'm free to kill a few braincells sewing in front of 'The Simpsons' or playing World of Warcraft until whenever I feel like it. I have my own home so I get up and go to bed when I please and watch what I like on TV. I bring in a wage packet and everything I own or use is MINE. I paid for it. If I WANT to spend some money on something I can. When I want to go somewhere or have a day out LeBoyfriend and I get in the car and go. I make my own rules about what is and isn't acceptable in my home and have been able to shuck off all the weird random arbitrary rules my mother seems to live her life by - like the weird rule about not using new stuff and keeping it 'for best'. When I finish work for the day I go home, snuggle Enzo, Snuggle Rocket, and put my feet up to enjoy half an hour of kitteh snuggles before LeBoyfriend gets home. I also get to eat only the things I like. Growing up can be kinda cool...

  3. Thanks to AMLightfoot from:

    Pyroman (28th June 2013)

  4. #93

    tmcd35's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeeHubb View Post
    Absolutely agree with that Witch. I had the same moment when I lost my Mum 2 years ago and realised that I am now the older generation and in the 'firing line'.
    My dad passed away early last year and I remember having similar thoughts at the time. My mum, hopefully, has quiet a few more years in her yet, but...

    ...it's quiet a sobering thought as a late thirty-something to know when she does go I'll be the eldest member of my family...

    But then again, I plan to leave to atleast 100, so I'm not sure why that should bother me (my age/being the eldest. Not loosing mum - which would bother me!)

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    (Not sure how appropriate this is here - I wrote it 15 years ago when my grandmother passed away. It wasn't that I felt immediately 'old', but it rings bells with the sense of change as our parents pass away leaving only us for our children to look 'up' to).

    "This Old House"

    Is almost unchanged in the last 30 years, almost my entire life. I'm not
    just talking about the paint; on almost every surface surface live
    the same objects that I always remember. The only testament to the
    passage of time is the accumulation of ever more recent photographs.
    These are propped up everywhere. In the back room stacked in envelopes,
    the history of my family is captued, still moments pulled from the
    chemical paper, transitory themselves - some are already fading, and
    only able to tell the story to those in the know.

    She is all around me, in the handwriting on little notes, her coat and
    hat hanging by the door, purse and handbag in her room, her washing up
    still on the draining board. The note by her bed - 'if I should go before
    the rest of you, break not a flower nor inscribe a stone, Nor when I'm
    gone speak in a sunday voice. But be the usual selves that I have known.
    Weep if you must; parting is hell. But life goes on, so sing as well'.

    My father too is here, many photographs of him in days few and many
    before I was born. Two titled 'My Brian', perhaps lest he should go
    unrecognised by his family, adorned as he is in them, with youth and
    future. Then there are momentos of our childhood holidays here, little
    plaster cast animals, a small plastic model sailing ship I built 20+
    years ago. There are the toys and games we played with, the familiar 4mm
    terminals that doubled as skittles, the backgammon board, ping pong set
    and of course, leaning against the wall, the green felt top of the card
    table across which one, two and occasionally and most adventurously,
    'oooh, I say dear', a five pence piece would change hands, tipped from
    the bowl of a firestone tyre ashtray.

    After the funeral, cremation followed by a service in the local
    Methodist Church, I went in search of her memorial to Stan, her husband,
    my Grandfather, who died some 22 years ago. Within Bushy Park, in one of
    the gardens, there is a bench with a plaque. I set off with some
    dour demeanor; somehow the prospect of trailing round a whole, well
    'parkfull', of seats, looking for one in particular, didn't fill me with
    much confidence for success. I have done this 'pilgrimage' before, but
    not for quite a few years. Almost unnervingly, the fourth seat I looked
    at, set before a small pond in mature, but well managed (very well
    'managed') woodland served due notice on any further searching. I sat
    perplexing the ducks, rabbits and swans, exhibiting strange behaviour;
    soft woefull moaning noises, occasional wracking motions and blowing my
    nose rather a lot, certainly for the rather inadequete square of tissue
    I then possessed. No one else passed that way to disturb my meditations,
    only the wind in the trees and clouds, promising rain.

    And tomorrow I will go. This house, that has seen only ever into the
    lives of my family, will be empty and alone. The next visitors will
    begin the process of dismantiling and fragmenting, the hub that was held
    together by my grandmother will disintigrate, will be only memory. What
    we will miss is only that which we never could touch. We have only what
    we chose to take, and that an imperfect perception, imperfectly
    remembered.

  6. 3 Thanks to pcstru:

    ButterflyMoon (3rd July 2013), GeeHubb (28th June 2013), witch (28th June 2013)

  7. #95
    ButterflyMoon's Avatar
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    @pcstru that just had me in tears!!!! What a beautiful piece of writing

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    Turned 60 end of last October.

    Like @witch said (about being 40), I suddenly felt really quite liberated, and still do.

    As it happens, I'm having a bit of a laugh at all this 'Just got to 23/34/28/30 next month and feel my age' stuff. I can remember thinking the same thing. I can remember sitting in pubs with friends and we were all giving it, 'No, man, I ain't gonna live til I'm 50. Live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse'......and then all of a sudden, I was 50.

    Something else @witch wrote too.........you still feel young inside. I still feel in my prime inside, even though my hair's thinning, my beard now grows grey and I've lost some teeth. In fact, I feel more capable of dealing with things now, because I've seen most of it happen before.

    The only thing I lament is that time passes too quickly when you have children. You get caught up in working, providing for a family, 'growing pains', school consultations etc., and then when they're all growed-up and you don't have those worries anymore, you realise that it all went too quickly and you want it back again. I sometimes feel like I was so busy working away from home, doing four-hour daily commutes and so on, that I missed my youngest daughter's childhood completely.

  9. #97
    Gibson335's Avatar
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    When my nipper was born I was a business manager and away for long periods of time...after 9 months I decided that I had a 9-month-old daughter I barely knew, and decided to quit. I got other, regular hour jobs before coming into IT. I'm so glad I did, because whilst we had less material things, I was able to be there as she developed and I got to know her and don't have to look back and say 'if only' - surely two of the most miserable words when put together like that.

  10. #98

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    Feeling old for sure today! I have done something to aggravate my sciatica and now every move is agony.

    Hate getting old[er]

  11. #99

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    The last conversation I had with my mother was on just this subject. Over much wine at dinner we all decided we "felt" about 2/3 of our age. Mum at 65 knew she was over 40, as that party had been a blast. At 40+ I knew I was over 30 as that was when my daughter was born, but 40? Never.

    She died the next morning. What a waste of pension payments.

  12. Thanks to Andrew_C from:

    ButterflyMoon (3rd July 2013)

  13. #100
    GeeHubb's Avatar
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    My father would have celebrated his 100th birthday in March this year. How old does that make me feel! (In my defence, I must point out that my brother and I came along later in his life.)

    All my grandparents were born in the late 1800's. Jeez, when did I get so old - how has this happened!

  14. #101

    witch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeeHubb View Post
    My father would have celebrated his 100th birthday in March this year. How old does that make me feel! (In my defence, I must point out that my brother and I came along later in his life.)

    All my grandparents were born in the late 1800's. Jeez, when did I get so old - how has this happened!
    My dad would have been 88 this year and my grandparents were born in 1895 and 1900

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