Covering letter for a job

Does this sound ok? I have knocked it up this evening and will send it tomorrow afternoon.

All help, comments etc appreciated.

Quote:

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Dear Sir/Madam

I am applying for the IT Project Manager position which I found on the recruitment website monster.co.uk.

I am interested in the role because I enjoy leading projects and being creative within the IT field, and have been successful in the education sector and would like to expand into the private sector. I am attracted to the position because it offers a vibrant and challenging environment which is the type of environment where I work best.

I can bring a variety of strengths to the role such as knowledge of wired and wireless technologies, various operating systems and a plethora of different aspects within the IT field. My experience of implementing internal systems comes from the Education Sector where I have worked in 2 schools and instigated 2 new frameworks and systems, and helped in a variety of other schools in building up the networks from scratch and assisting with the infrastructures.

Whilst not having a degree, I have the equivalent experience in industry and believe it is just as useful as a degree. Along with this experience I have gained a thirst for problem solving and have become very self motivated to finding solutions to an array of issues, and have been able to communicate my methodologies to a large group of people, ranging from Headteachers and Governors to a Technical Director, Army Officers (Ranging from Lieutenant to Major) and an MP.

Should I be considered for an interview, I am available at 48 hours notice. Many thanks for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours Faithfully

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All posts with constructive criticisms will be thanked and/or rep'd :)

i would replace the 2 2's with the word "two"

Otherwise its good??

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Originally Posted by nephilim

Otherwise its good??

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Yes, it is good - is the role solely infrastructure?

Infrastructure and project management

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nephilim

Infrastructure and project management

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Do you have examples in your CV of projects rolled out and how you managed time, resources and budget? If not maybe worthwhile giving an example.

I have a few examples, perhaps I can mention them in the covering letter to reinforce the cv?

I think there might be too many ands in certain places, making sentences longer than necessary. Split them up, and for some variety, use things like: "in addition to this...", "plus", "as well as X, I also did Y...", and "Thing A, which also included B, C and D".

Ahhh good thinking @webman

I wouldn't even mention you don't have a degree. Maybe change

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Whilst not having a degree, I have the equivalent experience in industry and believe it is just as useful as a degree. Along with this experience I have gained a thirst for problem solving.....

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to something like ... I have gained a wealth of experience in industry and along with this knowledge I have developed a thirst for problem solving......

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SYSMAN_MK

I wouldn't even mention you don't have a degree. Maybe change



to something like ... I have gained a wealth of experience in industry and along with this knowledge I have developed a thirst for problem solving......

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What he said - NEVER mention what you DONT have, only what you do!
Start out with examples of projects you have done which are similar to the job and then talk about how much you would love the job, NOT the other way around.
Stop mentioning the education sector - you dont need to remind them that you dont come from the private sector and give them a stick to beat you with. You are coming from an equally challenging environment, possibly more so!
Webman is right, some of the sentences are too long - the second sentence needs splitting up.
Whilst I like the word 'plethora', you cannot have aspects 'within', only aspects 'of'
I would suggest that you use the words 'Senior management' rather than Headteacher (again, DON'T remind them you come from education.)
The sentence 'I can bring a variety....' should go after the information about the infrastructures you have implemented, not before as it talks about aspects of your infrastructure experience.
That's a start - can't stay, gotta go and do some work now

With the advice of the above, it now looks like this...

Quote:

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Dear Sir/Madam

I am applying for the IT Project Manager position which I found on the recruitment website monster.co.uk.

I am interested in the role because I enjoy leading projects and being creative within the IT field, and have been successful in a challenging and diverse environment and would like to expand into the private sector. I am attracted to the position because it offers a vibrant and challenging environment which is the type of environment where I work best.

My experience of project management and implementation of internal systems comes from the Education Sector where I have worked in two schools and instigated two new frameworks, systems, relevant purchasing and budget control, and technical documentation. Along with this, I have helped in a variety of other schools in project management of building up the networks from scratch and assisting with the infrastructures. I can bring a variety of strengths to the role such as knowledge of wired and wireless technologies, various operating systems as well as a variety of different aspects of the IT field.

I have gained a wealth of experience in industry and along with this knowledge I have developed a thirst for problem solving. I have become very self motivated to finding solutions to an array of issues, plus I have been able to communicate my methodologies to a large group of people, ranging from Senior School Leadership (Heads of Department, Deputy Headteachers, Business Managers/Bursars, Deputy Headteachers, Headteachers and Governors) to a Technical Director, Army Personnel (Ranging from Lieutenant to Major) and an MP.

Should I be considered for an interview, I am available at 48 hours notice. Many thanks for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours Faithfully

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I was always told to limit the amount of 'I's' as it can come across as a bit self centered.

Not really sure I can change that, if you can give suggestions I am happy to listen and adapt :)

Just being pedantic, but "48 hours notice" should be "48 hours' notice" (apostrophe after the s), and "Yours Faithfully" should be "Yours faithfully" (lower case F). Personally, I would also change "I hope to hear from you soon" to "I look forward to hearing from you soon". Otherwise, great.